It's new to him, new to share his doubts and fears and failings, even among his select confidantes -- he still isn't sure what counts as earnest faith in his loved ones, and what becomes a burden, what loops back from honesty to manipulation again by obligating others to hear him by leveraging their care for him. But he kept the future of Elsinore too close to his heart for too long. He knows Laertes feels the same complicated, frustrated love for the people who still live there, and despite loving them, the same desire never to return. That lonely fear blinded him, made him unable to look at Aornis clearly or question her story. And his lonely fear of Luo Binghe drove him back and forth between stark self-denial and vicious, fruitless scheming.

Another slow breath. "I will," he promises.